The Economy
Politics
Danger Around the Corner
That Guy That Sits and Clicks His Pencil at Work
That Quota You Have to Fill
It’s always somethin’, isn’t it?
It seems like there is bad news, news that affects us all, every day. Some of it’s public, some of it’s personal.
No wonder we feel like we are always under pressure. A lot of this stuff is real. Some of it’s our perception. And it all feels threatening.
No wonder we feel anger. Anger makes perfect sense.
Our brains deal with all of this stuff like it’s a saber-tooth tiger. It’s the way we’re built, the way we’ve evolved. In the day of that tiger, what we now call anger helped us escape with our lives.
How do we handle all of this stuff without an explosion? Sometimes we just have to STOP. Here’s how:
S = Slow Down
Step back; this is when you take one thing at a time. Often events in life look like they are bigger and closer than they are. It’s hard to tell how big or important they are when we are in full motion. When we slow down, we have time and space to get some perspective. Taking time out to back off is one of the better things we can do when we are feeling pressure and threat.
T = Take a Breath
Take a number of breaths. When we connect with our own breath, breathing through the diaphragm, we are able to get present. Counting our breaths, as we breathe slowly, is a basic skill of mindfulness. It helps us to realize that now, right this minute, we’re okay.
O = Observe
Observe your thoughts and feelings. Let them pass by as you are slowing down and breathing. Notice that you are having some angry thoughts and feelings. Try to let them pass by as you observe. That’s what thoughts and feelings do when we are angry. The show up, they grow, they crest, and then, if we let them, they subside.
We get in trouble when we act on them. Thoughts, feelings, moods, and emotions make up what you will hear me call the mind. When we feel stressed, under pressure, and then angry, our mind is not always our friend.
P = Put Values into Play
We we take a longer view of what we want in our life, we are usually considering what we really value. Looking at the big picture tends to relieve at least a little of the pressure. Things have been good before; things will go well again. How do you get to your values? Ask yourself some questions.
- What is truly important to you in the long-term?
- Is it your work, your relationships with other people, helping others? Your peace of mind?
- What is truly the big picture for you?
Whatever we are feeling or thinking, we are always able to pull our values out and put them into play. Pull the parts of life that are important and close to your heart closer and let them be the guide.
If you follow the STOP model, you may notice that your mind is able to play tricks. Remember that thoughts are just words, no more, no less. They change like the weather changes. Values, those things that are important in the long-term, stay important over time. Focus on them.
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